Welcome to my podcast. Happily, Even After. I’m life coach, Jen, I’m passionate about helping people recover from betrayal. I rode the intense emotional roller coaster and felt stuck and traumatized for years. It’s the reason I became a trauma-informed certified life coach who helps people like you navigate their post-betrayal world. I have the tools, processes and knowledge to help you not only heal from the betrayal but create a healthy future. Today we begin to help you live happily even after. Hey friends, welcome to today’s podcast. So first I’m just going to tell you a little background about why I’m doing this podcast.
In March, if you know, I’m a huge fan of Jodi Moore and she was offering a storytelling workshop. It was one day in like Oceanside, California, and I live in Utah, so that would mean I’d have to fly there and we’d spend a day with her and these other producers, directors of the podcast the Moth, which is a storytelling podcast, and people tell their stories and they’ve been around for years and people go and share their stories on this podcast and it’s really great. I had never really listened to the moth but I for sure when I heard about this I started to and the moment I heard that she was doing this, I’m like I’m going. I am a pretty quick decision maker. Oftentimes I I mean, clearly I wasn’t in my divorce because it took me 26 years to get divorced, but many things I make quick decisions and I knew because my body, like immediately, was like, yes, I didn’t know how much it was costing or all the details, but when I heard about it I’m like I want to become a better storyteller. I hear I’ve been podcasting for several years and maybe that will be helpful. I can learn some tools to help tell better stories. Plus, I have a dream of writing a book and this would, I think, be a helpful skill for me to start learning how to do so immediate, yes. Well, the other thing that also made me really want to do this she said in it was a small group, about 40, mostly women. A few men were there and if we went to the storytelling conference and we wrote a story at the conference, we would be submitting them to her and we’d have the opportunity to be on her podcast.
And her podcast is called Better Than Happy and it is the first podcast I had ever listened to when I began listening to podcasts in 2019. My former coworker also my boss at the time when I had gotten my first job, right from being a stay-at-home mom. I was working at a store called Ever Eve and she mentioned, hey, do you like podcasts? And I was like, oh, I’ve never listened to a podcast. And she’s like, check this one out. And it was Better Than Happy.
And that podcast, in my mind, was the beginning of changing my life, because I listened to every single episode and it just resonated with me so much and I just really liked her. She has a membership. I joined her membership and I’ve been a member ever since, since 2019, and I have done a lot of business things with her. So I did faith-based coaching with her. I became a life coach because of her, even though at the time she didn’t teach coaching like how to be a coach. I did that through the life coach school. So really, Jodi has set me on my path of what I’m doing now and my passion of helping other people heal from betrayal, and so she means a lot to me and I really just admire her and respect her and she has a very successful podcast.
So if you go to the storytelling conference, you might get chosen to be on her podcast. So of course, I want to do this and had to submit a story. And it was interesting because going in I had no idea what kind of story I was going to say. I’m like I have a lot of stories and as I was learning at this conference, like what makes a good story and what keeps people’s attention and all that, so I was learning and this story just came out of me and it’s a story I’ve never really spoken out loud before, but I thought it must be a story I need to tell because it was just came out of me. And there’s lots of other stories that I have about my life that you know, I say often or whatever, but this one, I guess, felt more personal or I couldn’t share it, but it’s the one I shared and she chose it. So I’m recording this podcast today. You’ll hear it in a few weeks, but tomorrow I will be on her podcast and that in of itself feels like a huge win for me because of the path that I’ve been to get here where I’m at today and I’m just so grateful.
I found out a few weeks ago and I was sitting outside waiting for my daughter to pick me up outside of Zupa’s, talking on the phone to my other daughter and she had put me on hold. So I was scrolling through my emails and I got the news and I was like I got a little teary and I was like telling my daughter like how excited I was. I feel I’m like this feels like my Oprah moment, which for me, being on Jodi’s podcast feels as amazing as if I was on Oprah, like because I’m no interest really on. I mean, yeah, of course, if Oprah invites me to be on her podcast, I would for sure go. But that felt that’s how I described it to her and so I’m really proud of myself for being a part of that and getting chosen.
And I’m going to be on with two other women who are also sharing their stories. And I think stories are so important for us to share because when we don’t share them, we hide in shame and especially with betrayal. And I stayed silent for years and years and years and I don’t want to be silent anymore and I don’t want you to be silent anymore. And of course, we have to share our stories in places that we feel safe. But that’s how healing happens is when we speak our truth and we can recognize that we aren’t alone and we are going to be okay and our stories matter, and our stories can help lead us on a path to where we are becoming the person that we want to become. So with that, I am going to share with you my story. I want to take you back to the year 2021.
I was about to turn 50, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like things were finally looking up. I had filed for divorce but somehow we reconciled, and in that reconciliation I found hope. I believed our marriage could be rebuilt Stronger, Better, Different. Our kids seemed to be thriving. We had grown closer. During COVID, I had discovered life coaching, started the certification process and was slowly finding myself again after years of being stuck in betrayal, trauma and feeling lost as a stay-at-home mom raising four kids. As I looked ahead, I told myself my 50s were going to be my decade.
To celebrate my 50th birthday, my husband went all out, Because COVID limited big gatherings. He planned a five-day celebration with small groups of my closest friends, High fitness and yoga with some, a mani-pedi with others, breakfast dates, and he even rented a party bus for a night out with other couples. He showered me with flowers, gifted me the purse I had wanted and surprised me with plans for my dream anniversary trip. A few weeks later, there, he gave me a new wedding ring. I thought this is it. We’re on the right track. We even made plans to start a podcast together to show other couples that healing and forgiveness after infidelity was possible. It felt like everything was coming together.
Not long after our anniversary trip, spring break arrived. We lived in Utah, so anytime we had the opportunity to go to the beach we did. We planned a trip with three of our kids and their friends to spend a week at our beach house in Galveston, Texas. Our oldest daughter couldn’t join us because of her new job back east. Our trip was full of memories and a lot of fun the perfect kind of vacation. As we packed up to travel home, our rented SUV was full of kids luggage and a lot of chatter.
I slipped into my usual role the cleanup crew, Gum wrappers, water bottles, random papers nothing unusual. Until one scrap of paper made my whole world stop. It was a crumpled up receipt from the UPS store. I almost threw it away, but something made me look a little closer. The receipt listed a woman’s name and address. Not just any woman, someone I knew, Someone my husband had often critically compared me to. She was beautiful, fit a woman. I thought was a friend. And then the question I couldn’t unask why was my husband sending something to her? My hands shook, my chest tightened, I couldn’t breathe. I handed the receipt to him silently.
His face changed instantly, Not with guilt, but with calculation, and in a whisper, so the kids wouldn’t hear, he began spinning a lie Elaborate, detailed, smooth. He was too good at lying. But I knew deep down I wasn’t going to get the truth from him. But I already had it in my hand and I felt it in my body. The next hour was pure hell. I sat trembling in silence as he drove us to the airport. I stared out the window, thinking I want out, I want to open the door and run down the Texas highway. But I didn’t, because my kids and their friends were in the backseat, Because I had to hold it together, because moms don’t get to fall apart in rental cars. On the plane, sitting beside him for three hours, I felt like I was next to a stranger. My skin crawled, my thoughts raced Somewhere in that chaos. I knew this wasn’t just another lie. This was a pattern, a sickness, and I was done, pretending it wasn’t.
In the days that followed I asked questions. He denied, deflected, blamed gaslit. I tried to function to mom, to think straight, but I was consumed by a thick fog. Then one morning I dragged myself to a high fitness class with a friend, when I had been going to for years my therapy, before I had a therapist. The music started and Cher’s deep, powerful voice came through the speakers and filled the room as she sung I’m strong enough to live without you. And in that sweaty, loud room I heard God speak directly to me, not with thunder or lightning, just with clarity Jennifer, you are strong enough. Those words pierced my soul. I had just gotten certified as a life coach and I knew how powerful thoughts could be. So I chose that thought and added something to give me some time to figure things out. I’m strong enough to live without you, but I’m choosing to stay.
And for the next year I did stay. I worked on myself, I questioned everything. I watched him, hoping I was wrong, hoping he’d change. But a year later it happened again Another affair, another woman, another lie. This time it wasn’t just betrayal, it was the clarity I needed. He wasn’t going to change, but I already had. I finally remembered who I was. I wasn’t willing to settle for breadcrumbs anymore. I was strong, I was confident and I was done. I was finally ready to end my 26-year marriage.
The words from Cher’s song came back to me louder than ever I’m strong enough to live without you, period. I was strong enough to walk away from. I’m grateful now that I found that receipt. What I thought would destroy me instead helped me see the truth, and the truth set me free. So that’s my story.
Just like me, I want you to know that healing is possible. You are not broken, Whether you choose to stay or leave. The power is already within you. You just have to uncover it. And if you’re wondering where to even begin, I’ve created a free quiz on my website that will help you discover what stage of betrayal you’re in. I’ve mapped out the seven stages in my Betrayal Healing Roadmap, and this quiz will show you exactly where you are right now, so you can take the next step toward your own, happily, even after. So, friends, I hope that you are willing to start learning from your stories and growing, and if you liked this podcast, please like and share it with your friends, and I will talk to you next week. If you want to learn how to live happily even after, sign up for my email at hello at lifecoachjenwith1ncom. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook at Happily Even After. Coach, let’s work together to create your happily even after.
