Welcome to my podcast. Happily, even After. I’m life coach, jen, I’m passionate about helping people recover from betrayal. I rode the intense emotional roller coaster and felt stuck and traumatized for years. It’s the reason I became a trauma-informed certified life coach who helps people like you navigate their post-betrayal world. I have the tools, processes and knowledge to help you not only heal from the betrayal but create a healthy future. Today, we begin to help you live happily even after. Hey friends, welcome to today’s podcast.
I’m so excited I have a friend of mine that I met this summer at an event.
You guys know I love Jodi Moore and I pretty much do everything that she sells, I buy everything that she sells and she did an event it was called 12 and 12. And it was just a business like education, learning about your business and I met Jessica Erickson there and I, when I met her and I heard her story, I just was so impressed and I just thought this would be the perfect time as we’re all gearing up for 2025 to do a podcast with her, and so I have brought her on today and I’m going to let her introduce herself. But really her niche that she coaches she’s also a fellow coach. She coaches women how to create a vision for themselves, and I think we all need this so bad. And I, a past few years, I have created a vision board, but in my my past, past self, there’s no way I could have done that, so I just was hoping that she could give us tips and tricks and just have a conversation with her today.
So, jessica, thanks so much for being here. Hi, jennifer, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Okay, so I am a mom of four and I have teenagers down to a four-year-old, so I’m a little bit of, you know, some gaps there. So toddlers to teenagers Wow, that’s a lot. Very full life. We’ve got some dancers, some soccer players, some flag football kids, so we are pretty busy, and I know I’m a little bit allergic to the word busy. So very full life. Yes, yes, I agree, I agree. So I help lost moms discover their dreams and do them.
You are a mom so I know that you’re going to understand what I’m talking about. But when you have a kid, you get in this mom haze, especially with the newborn. You’re not sleeping real great, you’re feeding and changing diapers and your whole life revolves around that newborn. And at some point they’re not a newborn anymore and you can step away from being, you know, insanely involved in that baby. I feel like with each kid that was, it took longer or shorter, depending on the baby that I had and the support system that I had.
It was different with each kid, but each time I remember being like, okay, wait now, there might be a little bit of time for me. What do I even want to do with that? What do I want to do and just feeling a little lost, like I don’t even know what I want to do anymore. Like I was a competitive ballroom dancer in college and after my fourth I was like, do I even want to go back to dance? Like what do I want to do?
And so, anyway, I just had this season of just feeling a little lost after each kid, but definitely like my fourth was in the middle of COVID, so there was like a whole lot of drama going on. I did my life coach certification through Dr Jen Ridey and the Vibrant Life Coach Certification, so I had some new tools and some new understanding in my tool belt and the thing that I finally was like I want to do something for me and she was offering a retreat. So the retreat was in Punta Cana and I’d never been to Punta Cana. I knew no one. Is that in the?
Dominican Republic. Yes, Dominican Republic. I’m like, I think it is.
Yeah, yeah, and I’d never been there. I like actually needed to look on a map to find out where it was. Yeah, so I decided, you know, it costs a little bit of money. But I was like you know what, like I deserve this. It costs a little bit of money, but I was like you know what, I deserve this. How much money have we spent on my kids’ dance shoes? How much money have we spent on soccer cleats? It’s okay, mom gets a turn too. So I organized all the meals and got childcare for the kids and figured all of the things out so I could go to this retreat and at this retreat I like how moms have to do that and dad’s just.
We need to change that a little bit. But no, I mean I can appreciate.
I can hear you, so I decided to go and at this retreat. It was an amazing retreat, but I left with this list of things that I wanted to do, and if you are a mom, I highly recommend getting out of your daily life, even if it’s for like a weekend. But just getting away from everything gives you a different perspective, allows you to see some things a little more clearly. I don’t know, do you agree with?
that, oh, totally, totally. But I think so many of us, because it’s a lot of effort to leave right, we think it’s easier to stay and not do that. Or we just say, oh, we’ll do it next year or next month. We tend to push it off, oh that is.
Can I tell you how many times I’ve heard that? Oh, I’ll work on my dreams later.
Yeah, when my kids are graduated or something, when they all are in school. Then I’ll work on my dreams later, when my kids are graduated or something.
Yeah, when they all are in school then I’ll do X, y or Z when they are all driving. Then I’ll do something for me and it’s like no.
Yes, even if it’s just one hour. Oh man.
I mean, go grab a hotel for a weekend or even just one night at a hotel, do something. But for me it was going to Punta Cana, going to this retreat that Dr Jenridey led. It was phenomenal. But when I got done, on the way, on the plane ride on the way home, I had had all the taken, all these copious notes, and in the margins I was like, oh, I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do this. So on the plane ride on the way home, I wrote out all of these things that I wanted to do, and these were not like little things, like want to read a book, like, although that is, one of my goals this year was to read a book, because somehow sitting down to read is just.
I feel you. I’m that same. I’m that same way I can listen to a book. To sit and read a book feels hard yeah.
So some of the things that I put on this list were take my daughter on a 12 trip. She’s turning was turning 12. So I wanted to take her, you know, on do something. That was just mom and daughter, just go do something fun.
I wanted to go to England traveling first class, and I even like this is my favorite one, you guys, cause you know I love to travel. I put a little caveat, like first or second, cause I was like really hesitant that I could pull that off. But um, I did that. Um, organize my office and my garage. I had been a newborn photographer for 13 years and I’d kind of outgrown my space and I was like, can I stay here? And I was like I don’t know if, if I am, we got to get this organized. So those are just a couple of the things, but there ended up being 16 things. I’m kind of an overachiever.
Do you have an amount Like? Do you encourage your clients? Like to say, do five Like is there, does it matter?
Or it totally depends on the person and the goals. Okay, If, if they’re like contradictory goals, it’s really hard to do them at the same time. Like if one of them costs you money and your other goal is to make money or save money. Like it can be hard to do them at the same time. Like if one of them costs you money and your other goal is to make money or save money. Like it can be hard to do those at the same time. But imagine, like we’re also talking about like a year.
I like to do things in like a year and I’ll have a focus for like a month at a time or a couple of weeks at a time. But if I’m looking at like a year long commitment here, you can get quite a bit done in a year and there’s some things that work well together. Like if I want to get healthy, well, I’m only eating and exercising for a certain part of the day, right? So like I can try to get healthy and work on my business, yeah. Or, and you know, and some of them like, hey, while I’m organizing, I’m lifting all this heavy stuff in. Or, and you know, and some of them like, hey, while I’m organizing, I’m lifting all this heavy stuff in the garage and I am getting healthy.
So some of them report to me really well, yeah. So I would just say it depends on the person and the goals. But I mean obviously, like, if you have one thing that you’re focusing on, but is it, as the year is going on, one thing that you’re focusing on, but as the year is going on, I had 16 for the year. Yeah, so 16 for the year, that is a lot, but I was really determined and I had this new set of skills.
Did you complete all of those Like, were you able to? Okay?
No, I got 13 out of 16 done, which is amazing. The fun thing with that is I encourage people to do about 80%, and what I did was 81%.
Oh wow, I was like why the 80% If you’re shooting?
for perfection. It just puts way too much pressure on way too much pressure. And I’m also really into like making your goal be flexible and morphing it a little bit and trying to get to like the root of what it is. So, like one of the things I wanted to do was like run a half marathon. I did one before I got pregnant with my first and I was like, yeah, let’s, that’d be a fun bookend goal, Like I did one before and now that I’ve had my last kid, I’ll do another one. Well, I had this like crazy ankle pain that was going on and like I couldn’t run and I was in physical therapy. So that goal needs to change and the ultimate goal was to be healthy. Then, like there’s lots of different ways to get healthy right.
Half marathon is not your only option.
Yes or do your?
physical therapy and like stop eating cake. You know, I know chocolate chips are my weakness, but anyway, there’s other ways to get to the actual goal than the step that I had decided I was going to take. So it just requires some evaluation and some tweak, yeah, and I like the flexibility.
Like I think in life we have to be flexible because something could happen that we don’t even know about in six months and we don’t want that to derail us. Like well, if we wouldn’t have made these goals, like now we’re a failure. Like do you find people are resistant to making goals, or what’s your experience?
Yeah, I feel like there are a lot of people that are allergic to the word goal. They don’t like it. Yeah, and I totally get that. And if you are feeling that way, I would ask that you reframe it a little bit. So, instead of saying like, oh, I have to set some goals for new year’s, like, oh, it’s January, everybody’s setting new year’s resolutions, I guess I better jump on that train and set some goals. If that sounds terrible to you, please don’t do it. Please don’t do that. What I would reframe it is I am discovering my dreams and making them a reality.
What do I do? That’s so much better.
Like, oh, that feels so good. Yes, sign me up for that class. Right, like I want to do that. So for me, I’m going to talk about England, just because I know that’s my favorite. Um, so we, I have ever since I was a little girl. I loved Peter Pan, loved all the pictures in our Peter Pan book, had them flying by a big Ben, and so I decided we had some friends that were my kids, like two of my kids, like best buddies. They went to England for a two year tour for the military, and so we were like, if we’re ever going to go, like this is the time, yeah, and I will tell you, my husband and I had like many back and forth about this because we had a three-year-old. Like she wasn’t even three yet, so she was like two, almost three.
She’s not fun to travel with guys and you have to buy a. You have to buy a ticket for her.
Yeah, yeah, you have to buy a ticket for her and so, anyway, I decided, if I’m going to do this, like I have to get my parents on board. They’re going to come with us. So I called my parents and I’m like, okay, you never know when this could be the last trip you take. When are we going to have this opportunity again? We’re going and I, like you know five minute long speech with like a PowerPoint, and my mom was like you had us at let’s go to England.
You’re like you gotta stop.
She’s like this was a really fun presentation. But like, yeah, we’re in, I kept thinking they would have more input or something, and we all decided that we got to pick one thing that we wanted to do. Oh, I love that, so that was fun, Anyway. So I’m going on this back and forth with my husband and he’s like he gets really anxious on flights, like really anxious. And he’s like I do not want to fly over the ocean. This terrifies me. So I was like well, we need to just like give you a pill and knock you out, yeah. So why don’t we put you in first class so that you can lay down and just zonk out and like all be in the back with the kids? But then that sounded terrible. Yeah, and then I’m with the baby, right, yeah. But then he was like well, why don’t you go in first class with the toddler and I’ll be in the back with her? So I was like this just isn’t working. We’re all going first class. And he was like this is way too expensive, we’re not going to be able to do it, and so, anyway, I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out, but I put it on my vision board, I put all. I put the picture of big Ben and I wanted to do a photo shoot by a big Ben and I put us like traveling first class, and I had no idea how that was going to work out.
When I first logged on to try to buy the tickets, it was like astronomical, oh shoot, maybe this isn’t going to happen. But then I was like no, it is on my vision board, this is what I want. I am going to figure this out. So my husband left the room and he’s like I got to go change a diaper, like you do, whatever you do. And so I kept searching and I found a flight that was. It was first class for everything, except the very last leg from like Seattle back to California was not first class and that was in budget. And so I bought the tickets and he was complaining about how this was still so expensive. And literally like an hour later, I got a call from my mom who worked for our accountant hey, by the way, I just got the update from the accountant and this is the amount that you’re going to get back for your tax refund, and it was a hundred dollars more than what I had spent for these.
So amazing, like seriously, I just love that. I love that, like you put it. I believe you put things out in the universe that you really want and desire and they can totally happen, which is what you, you manifested, that manifest. It was amazing, so amazing.
So and we did have like literally the best time. It was the trip of a lifetime. I got my pictures by a big Ben, which it ended up like raining at the end of our photo session and like part of my brain was like, oh shoot, this is going to ruin everything. Those are some of my favorite pictures of us like dancing in the rain on this bridge right by Big Ben, like it was magical, it was super fun, that’s so awesome. Anyway, you just never know. You know like what can happen.
Yeah, it was like why wait? It’s so true, there were definitely things that were, you know, not very pleasant. We ended up in Paris, too, and we went to Montmartre and I had no idea there could be that many stairs in one place. Yes, and she was asleep in her stroller, so we had like one person carrying the front, one person carrying the back, and we literally carried this little princess up like a bajillion flights of stairs to get to where we needed to be. But you know, it was just like we’re exhausted but we’re laughing and we’re having fun and like now it’s like those are like the best memories. It’s just our little princess that just gets carried wherever she is, as is your princess.
So what is on your list for 2025? Like, have you made? Have you made your list yet, or so I haven’t yet.
Um, so I’ve got my 24 list that I’m working on, but little, I guess. Tip. Um, it doesn’t have to be January, so my year actually goes like February to February oh, that’s when my retreat is.
Okay, so do you go on retreat every February? Do you do this every?
February yeah, so I’m going to go back on the retreat. So last year we were in Mexico and then this year we’re back in Punta Cana. But I’ve just decided that that’s my new year, because I can decide right.
Yeah, I love that Because sometimes people feel so much pressure January one right that we’ve got to, we’ve got to do these goals. But I do love that because then it just gives you some time and space. You get to decide, which is great.
I love it. January is great and if you want to do January, awesome, like so fun. But I will say most people don’t set new years resolutions. They set new January, yes. Yes, they’re trying to cram all of their goals into like two or three weeks and then you get frustrated because you didn’t lose 30 pounds in two weeks or you didn’t, you know, book the travel that you wanted in that first two days that you looked, and then you give up and then you’re like, well, I’ll just wait till next year, yeah, so, um, I really feel like when we’re setting a new year’s resolution, whenever you decide your year starts right, I don’t care, make sure that you’re it’s for the whole year and like time it appropriately. So, yeah, lose 30 pounds. Don’t try to lose all 30 pounds in the first two weeks, like, yeah, all year. Yeah, be flexible If you lose 25.
Awesome, yeah. Celebrate the wins instead of focus on what you didn’t do.
Yeah, yeah, I did want to say one thing about. I know your audience is moms, and so I just wanted to say, um, one of the goals was to take my daughter on a 12 trip and it was one day. Right, this was not like life changing or like life altering, okay, but we decided that I was going to do this with her and I was like my husband was working that day, so I was like, shoot, what am I going to do with the other kids? So I had to get childcare for my other kids I have three other kids and, um, and then my husband was at work. So, anyway, I just want to say that, like when I made a decision to do something for myself, well, and my daughter, we went to an amusement park and we had a fabulous time.
My other three kids went with Nana and Papa. They went to a. It was pie day, like you know, like oh yeah, and they had a church function where they brought like a gazillion pies and they ate pie and they got to go to their cousin’s soccer game and it was just like a normal day but to them. They got to spend the day with their cousins and with Nana and Papa and they ate pie. It was the best day ever for them. Yeah, my husband got done working early and he didn’t have any other responsibilities, so he got to go to a superhero movie that he had really wanted to see. So, and everybody, when we came home that night, everyone was so happy and like we had all these stories to tell each other and like it was just like awesome, like when you do something for yourself, you lift your mood, but then you also lift everybody around you. Yeah, I just, I just, mom, go do something for yourself, because everybody with you.
And I love that you didn’t let that day deter. You like, oh, now I have to ask someone, even if you have to hire a babysitter, or which I’m guessing you would have done like you were dedicated. This is your birthday, this is what I’m doing, you’re not going to let anything get in your way, right? Which I think we sometimes were like oh, that feels too hard. I find if I plan ahead of time and commit ahead of time, like walk, anything, that I’m more likely to do it.
Well, and then also getting back to that, why so, instead of like it’s a goal, you know, like what?
was my dream. What was your? Why with your?
dream was that I wanted to celebrate her birthday. Like turning 12 is like a big deal. I know 13 is like normal for maybe a girl, but for for our family, like turning 12 is a big deal. So, like she’s turning 12 and I really wanted to do something to mark that and celebrate that with her. And I wanted it to be just the two of us, because we don’t often get a lot of time with just the two of us. So that was my why, like I really wanted to celebrate with her and so it’s like okay. Well then, yeah, I’m going to have to find childcare, I might have to pay for childcare, I might have to like swap, so like I’m sacrificing another weekend day so I can swap with the kids for somebody else. But it was on my vision board. I had that little picture of us celebrating at this amusement park and so like I have six flags.
Oh, so much fun. Is that you live in California, right? Yeah, I’m in Northern California. We don’t have six flags here, but that’s so much fun. What do you think some of your life lessons like by doing this? What has it taught you about so many? Or what have you learned about yourself?
What have I learned? Okay, so I think the number one takeaway is to do a vision board mm-hmm.
Get your dreams down on paper, get really clear on what you want, and I know sometimes, like we talked about being a lost mom and I know your audience might have some like trauma or you know, like some things that are going on that you don’t want, and it’s really easy to focus on like what you don’t want, yes, but especially when things are like going not the way you want, it’s really important to get clear on what you do want and what you can control, and so I went through my goals and decided what can I control, what can I do, and get really clear on it. And when you’re envisioning yourself on a roller coaster with your daughter with your hands up in the air, screaming and having the greatest time, it’s not very easy to let that go Like. Now I’m like really into it. I have smelled the funnel cake and I have seen how much fun you’re going to have.
I know I am committed now and once you’ve been able to get really clear on what you do want, what does that look like? What does it smell like, what does it feel like? And when you can like, what does it? What does it look like? It looks like this roller coaster and funnel cake and a smiling kid. Now I know exactly what I’m putting on my vision board, the roller coaster, the funnel cake and the smiling kid Right.
And now I’m like super committed, I’m super there and I’m going to make it happen. It doesn’t have to happen this week or this month, but sometime this year. We’re going to make that happen, right, yeah, so I think making a vision board cause in order to make it, you have to be clear on what you’re doing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And having specific goals, like I’ve had some business goals and it’s like no, actually pick a number right, like you need to choose a number how many clients do you want, or how many followers, or whatever and pick a number and it gives you something to work for Right During that. Just like how many followers, or whatever, and pick a number and it gives you something to work for Right During that year.
It’s not to say that you can’t be flexible with it. Yeah, yeah, you put the number 12 on your vision board, like I want to have 12 clients, and like you come to the end of the year and you’ve got five.
Well, okay, you can like take a Sharpie and mark. You didn’t. You had zero at the beginning. So then it’s like, wow, I have five new clients and yeah, I, I totally agree. I think, I think, just think this is so amazing. So, jessica, if someone wants to hire you like, how, how do you help people? Like, if you’re like, if any of my listeners are thinking like, oh, I want a vision board, but I just need a little bit of extra help, how could they get ahold of you?
Okay, well, number one I’m going to view like just a couple of things that you could do on your own, okay, okay, so I would number one download Canva. If you are familiar with Canva like it is so easy, you can learn it in like a couple hours. Okay, I feel like a lot of times when people hear the word vision board, they’re thinking I have to go buy a ton of magazines, I have to get the scissors and the glue and like, if you’re not super crafty, like that is like a barrier in and of itself, like I do not want to waste all this money and time. And then for me, I was having a hard time because we what? I’m going to spend $5 on this magazine because I want one picture and it’s not even the right size.
Yeah, how do you do that? So, um, but because I’ve been a photographer for you know, 13 years, I have designed tons of stuff, um, in like Photoshop and and other. Um, but I love Canva, it’s so easy to design stuff in Canva and other. But I love Canva, it’s so easy to design stuff in Canva.
Yeah, and I can do it too, and I’m not a professional, so yeah.
So when you think about a digital vision board, like, well, now I don’t have to go buy a bunch of stuff, like, I can download Canva. There’s, you know, free Canva. I can pull any picture I want from the internet and I can. There’s a zillion fonts, I can do whatever color I choose, like. So it just opens up this world of possibilities. So there’s even in Canva you can, you can type in like vision board, and there’s templates already there. So they’ve made it really easy to go and do that.
So, number one download Canva and I would absolutely like pick some, some words and visions that they are really going to be meaningful to you. Anyway, so you can use Canva. It’s awesome. I also have, if you want to go to my website, jessicaericksonphotographycom slash gift. I have the top three things that you should have on your vision board. It’s going to be, it’s fun, and in that document I also have the top three resources.
Number one is to download Canva and I’ll tell you whether you do a physical vision board or a digital vision board. I would love it if you had multiple sizes of it and in different places. Okay, yeah, like on your computer. Yeah, yeah, here’s my magic, magic tip, okay, Okay. So if you have your big vision board somewhere where you see it the most for me it’s in my bathroom. I know I’m going to pee at least 10 times today, right, so I have it in my bathroom. I also have a copy in my office and I have a small four by six in my car on the visor. Oh yeah, what a great idea. So seeing it in different places at different times will give you different results.
So I remember one time that I was like oh hey, my, I hold it onto my visor with my garage door opener. So I was like, oh well, we already went on that 12 trips, so I’m going to just move the garage door opener over. And then I realized like, oh, on the bottom right of my vision board it says that I want to start dancing again. I have five minutes until my son is done with practice. What can I do in the next five minutes? That would get me one step closer to that. And I was like well, I can call my coach and ask when auditions are and tell her I’m coming to auditions. So I did it, and that then gave me some accountability, because I know she’s not letting me off the hook Right. I put it in my calendar when the auditions were so. Anyway, it just helped me take like a step towards that, and I had seen that every morning.
And you have lots of time in your car. You’re sitting there.
Yeah, yeah, so you’ll. You’ll find different times, you’ll have different things pop in your head based on, like, where you’re seeing it too, so, anyway, okay. So if you want to work with me, like I, I think everybody should have a vision board, even if it’s just like a couple of words and a picture. But if you are like I need some extra help I don’t want to do this myself, cause that’s another thing people tell me like, oh yeah, I would totally do that. I just never get around to it.
Yeah, yeah, that’s me. So I do have a done for you vision board where, if you’ll jump on a call with me, if you already know what your goals are and you know what you want to do, I will design that like with you on a zoom call and then I will ship it right to your door so you literally don’t have to do anything. Wow, that’s all done for you and it will come in all the sizes I recommend and it’s done. And if you want to do a deep dive, where you want to go through that whole program that I did to accomplish that 13 out of 16 of my goals, I do that as well, and the done for you vision board is included in that 12 week program, so oh, that’s so awesome.
So I’m going to put all of Jessica’s information in the show notes. So if you’re interested in this, go to the show notes and you can check it out. Jessica, thanks so much for coming on to my podcast. I just think this is, in my opinion, such a valuable work to help us, like find the best versions of ourselves when we’re creating dreams creating our dreams right, I’m not going to say goals. Thanks so much for coming on. I appreciate you and I’m just so grateful. Anyway, thanks everyone for listening today. If you like this podcast, please share it with your friends and family and leave a review so other people can find it. Have a beautiful day and I will talk to you next week. If you want to learn how to live happily even after, sign up for my email at hello at life coach Jen, with one ncom. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook at happily even after. Coach. Let’s work together to create your happily even after.
